New year resolutions are meant to be broken! 

Having heard these words of wisdom oft repeated, I refrained year upon year to make any resolutions around the New Year. In amusement, & admittedly with a tinge of foreboding, I watched as people made their resolutions & as assuredly went about falling short of keeping them. While my curiosity towards this phenomenon deepened, so did my introspection on what are my learnings from watching this seemingly endless cycle. 

All else aside, what did this holiday season, the turning of the calendar, really signify to me personally? And how do I relate to this phase, year after year, while at least attempting to avoid the pitfalls that we succumb to repeatedly?

My perspective: we probably have got the resolutions approach upside down.

Resolutions are about ‘the solutions’ – ‘the methods & the means’. ‘Stop X, start Y, improve Z etc’ – and all of that takes a lot of motivation, and effort! Its piece meal – rather than a whole systems approach to oneself. 

I found my magic answer, in not resolutions, but in Questions! Questions, that lead to inspiration – that inner resource that pulls us magnetically, unlike the push that motivation requires. In brief, here is my method:

Pause: 

The turning of the calendar, is not so much about the change at the stroke of midnight every 31st December/ 1st January, but rather is a more fundamental slowing down. A conscious slow down, of mind & heart; a conscious pausing to take a look around.

I undertake this (or at least attempt to) in the last fortnight of every year. A slowing down to take in from the months gone by, all that was celebrated, & all that was worth celebrating but never got celebrated in rush of things. A pause to soak in, all that was learnt, and all that could have been learnt from, but never got its time of the day.

A period to just breathe in, and center oneself in the here and now of the fading year. And to surface, aspects that inspire oneself, and also the aspects that leave one aspiring to make some changes. And without regret, remorse or self reproach, to make a self accepting note of it all!

Purpose:

The pause delivers a deeper benefit than just providing a sense of acceptance & measurement. It creates a stillness, to allow clarity to surface. 

Clarity that allows one to ask powerful questions. Questions such as ‘ To what purpose, to what end? What is the ultimate purpose served? Is this a purpose that I need motivation for, or is it something that I feel inspired by?’

The list of questions can be long – but they all help to settle the dust that gets kicked up from our endless running around all year long.

Possibility:

Acceptance – of what changes inspire,  and clarity – of purpose, together create the realm of possibilities. Possibilities of the ‘what-if’s’. A phase where one must not sit in judgement upon oneself – but play unfettered, like children weaving fairytales & spinning visions for the future. 

A phase, that once dwelled upon, begins to provide glimpses of what inspires us most? What future would I be most inspired to create for myself? What am I willing to toil for that makes it all a fulfilling journey? What do I not need to be motivated for by anyone, but will get me out of bed energised to create & shape?

This new year, my question to you is:

What possibilities do you want to create for yourself in 2018 & how can I support you in that journey?

Do reach out.. you need not walk it alone 🙂

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